Once we taken the step, all we can do is watch.
It’s supposed to go from a thousand revs to zero in a fraction of a second. We’re supposed to see every detail, of every aspect surrounding us, in a slow, and peaceful manner. Time’s supposed to stop, and you’re supposed to be able to observe everything in slow motion… But it isn’t so. Not at least for me, not this time. It was a rush, a sudden fury of dust, rocks and pebbles entering my vision, my crane, my hands, my legs… my mouth.
The car came to a stop, I walked out of the wreck. Took a few steps and smiled. Must have been the most out-of-place smile ever.
When I woke up this morning, from going through the crash over and over.. I came to one conclusion. It was a failure. I failed to commit suicide. There was no brake marks, the only thing obvious was the turn at the last second; the reason why I hit the wall on a slight angle, rather than straight on. That’s what “saved” me. Go figure, now that I know that’s what I was aiming for, I feel like the smile is even more out of place.
There’s always another time, and another chance… But I’m going to let fate decide when and how it happens.
Nothing makes life more intense than death.