First Problems, World

The mid morning sun comes in through the window. It covers the entire bed at this time -no place left to hide but under the sheets. You cover up, but you need air. From one uncomfort, to another. Your try to find your phone, you feel it close to your elbow so you bend in the most dislocating positions possible; anything but sitting up to find it.

Bang! phone recovered from the mess of sheets, and pillows, and pijamas. You scroll down, and down, and down goes the battery… While the relentless sun keeps climbing; but you know if you wait long enough, it will start its descent.

Where’s the charger? You think, you wonder, but you know very well it’s lost. It’s out of your reach, even worse, it’s outside of your room. There’s just no way to reach it.

You run your phone dry and clumsily drop it to the floor -you need all the space you can get on this bed-turned-island.

Damn it… Your bladder presses against unnecessary parts of your body. The pressure rises. What did your friend say? Oh yes… “If you ever need to pee, think about sex, and the feeling will pass”. So you try that. Now you’re wishing you had 5% battery so you could replay those audios over and over. They’re better than any porn site.

Great. Now you’re horny. Oh well, it would be foolish to stop now. You go to town… The pleasure is short lived. You get sleepy but… Wait for it… BOOM! There’s the bladder… Demanding your attention like a hyper intelligent toddler. You look at your water bottle; are you that deep into your paralyses you’re contemplating peeing in it?

Maybe… And just like that, you’re up. You make it to the toilet, relieve yourself, maybe clean yourself, and you’re left with the option of continuing your day.

But you can’t, you just can’t… You end up back in bed as if you were running on fire… And you pray for this day to end.

So next time this happens to you, what you gonna do? Are you going to justify it by saying you’re busy and you need a break? The Great don’t take breaks from their dreams and their goals. The Great don’t take breaks from their lives. They take moments to take it all in, moments to recapitulate, but not breaks. The Great don’t get paralysed from a large to-do list. They do take breaks from unnecessary burdens. In whatever form they come.

And when it’s all over and done with, and by some miracle you’ve found the inspiration to get out of bed, and stay out of it, you’re swamped from the inside by guilt. And it tastes like bitter almonds.

So the next time this happens, acknowledge it, embrace it, love it, and enjoy it. Accept your mediocre status, and your privilege. Cause only the privilege have the luxury of saying that staying in bed is a problem.  And the Great may not suffer from this, but those with less, dream of what you call a nightmare. To be able to stay in bed without anything to do, without responsibility… What a dream my nightmare can be.

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