}{ I drive at the speed limit, and this urgent monkey rides my bumper. They undertake and then brake-check me. I slam on the brakes, swerve left, right. I’m shaking. I scream and shout all the ‘horrendousness’ I can muster. I chase the MotherF*&er. It’s a hunt, and I’m going for the kill. 

We drive faster and faster, but the prey can’t out drive me. They pull over and stop abruptly. I block them from driving off and jump out of the car. They’re mine and I’m going to-


}{ I’m rushed for reasons out of my control. A guy in a large pickup polices the left lane and won’t let me through. I undertake him, I’m mad as hell and brake-check him -“two can play this game, A*&hole.” He swerves hard, I panic “Shit, I could have killed him!” He chases me. He won’t stop. I drive faster. I’m losing control of my car. I decide to stop and apologise, I’m scared for my life. He stops in front of me. I desperately open the glove compartment and –

}{ I’m out of the car in a second, crowbar in my right arm, swinging fast. I get my first glimpse of the driver. It’s a woman! 

}{ He’s a very large man! His crowbar high in the air; Oh my God, he’s going to kill me!

}{ F&^k! Wait! Stop!

}{ Oh my God, I’m going to die, I’m going to die. Please, don’t let this be – BANG!  The shot from inside the car momentarily deafens me; there’s a hole in my windshield, a crowbar midflight, descending on my bonnet, a shoe taking off, but no man.

And silence. It’s gone. Everything has gone. A loud clatter startles me as the crowbar lands on my bonnet.

Life is volatile enough as it is, don’t add to it.


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